To gym or not to gym... that is the question.

We took a tour of the ACAC Fitness Center in Charlottesville this afternoon after Pat's doctor visit. I know I posted about our conversation on joining the gym in an earlier post and my concerns of whether it would be worth the money to join.
Well, we took a tour and I'm even now more convinced that if we joined the gym we would have to be VERY dedicated about each going at least four times a week. The only membership that seems worthwhile is a family membership as it provides 2.5 hours of daycare for the children while we worked out.
The facility is huge and has enough machines (or as Savannah called them, dancing machines) that you wouldn't have to wait long or at all to use one. They also have more than 300 weekly group exercise classes per week so there wouldn't be an excuse of finding a good time to go.
The Kids Zone is awesome and there was plenty of play space even though there was a large number of kids (we went at 5 p.m., a busy time at the gym). They have a separate, but also fairly large, room for babies.
The cost per month, with Pat's corporate discount, is $147. That's a considerable amount less than we would pay without the discount, but it's still a large sum of money.
So now the question has to be whether or not we will be committed enough to go if we sign up for a one-year enrollment (the only option they give you).
I'm going to email and ask for a trial-membership so I can see how we make it work and if the children like going.
What do you think about this? I'm asking for all opinions.

Refocus and recharge...

Pat and I had a long talk this weekend about the importance of not forgetting ourselves in the busy day-to-day activities of being parents. This was a problem when we just had Savannah and now it's doubled since Julius came along.
So starting this month Pat and I are going to try to have a date night ... a time when we leave the children with a babysitter while we go out for dinner and a movie.
We haven't had a child-free dinner since our wedding anniversary in April and we're long overdue.
Our conversation about priorities also reminded me that it's time to recommit myself to getting the weight off. I've spent the last few weeks losing and gaining the same two pounds and it's because I haven't really focused on my efforts to lose the weight.
Pat asked me what he could do to help me and there really is nothing a person can do to help someone lose weight except continue to encourage them. He asked me if joining the gym might be beneficial, but I'm not ready to commit that money until I can get myself focused again.
We have to continue making ourselves a priority or we won't be any good to our children.

WW weigh-in, Week Seven

I can officially say that July has been a sucky month for me on Weight Watchers... I went in this morning and have gained a pound since I weighed in two weeks ago. I really wasn't surprised as I haven't been as focused as I need to be to get the weight off.

Alas this is a new week and I'm focused to see a weight loss on the scales next Saturday!

How are you? Did you make it to the States today?

Eating is nuts here

I am glad i am going back to work toorrow so I will be eating better as I have been awful on vacation but oh well I didnt gain like I had thought so all is good
I will call moncton to find out about a fill for when I get back form MOntreal in August/

How are you doing with WW??

I se eyou have not been blogging or writing your food count out

whts up

bad on the eatring train for me !!

I have been eating everything and anythig but i am not too concerned cause I know vacation is over and well monday is the real life again where we watch what we eat to get healthier

did I tell you I met up with so many od friends on facebook this wek
also my old would be flame
i had the biggest crush on him he asked me out and i told him no
he says i broke his little heart
i told hime he should have asked me again lol

man being young was fun l;ol

Back on the wagon again..

Despite my Weight Watchers leader saying the other week that "there is no wagon", I'm feeling the need to say that I'm feeling better this week about my weight loss (although I only lost 1 pound).
Last month was a hard month for me emotionally as we celebrated what would have been my Daddy's 76th birthday and days later remembered him on the anniversary of his death.
He died last year just three days after his 75th birthday and there are days I miss him more than you know... although I know he's better off out of pain.
Savannah is away for the weekend and my plan today is to clean up and spend some quality time with my little guy... he doesn't get much Mommy and Me time with Savannah around so I'm looking forward to that.

P.S. Lori, I'm cooking the sweet and sour pork recipe you gave me several weeks ago and will let you know how it goes over. It smells really good!

Thunder and lightening still no sun!!!!

Depressing weather

It has been raining since wednesday June 17. and is suppose to continue to rain until and including Sunday July 7 How depressing !!

Ticked one off the list of my TO Do LIST!!!

I always wanted to be able to jump into the lake with my clothes on but was always afraid.
I was afraid all my clothes would stick to me and people would see my body!!

Well I finally did it!

I ran into the Killarney lake today with my shorts and a tank top and bra and undies and I really didn't care who looked and who thought I was nuts..

IT FELT AWESOME
I WAS FREE AGAIN
WEIGHT NO LONGER HAS ME BY THE THROUT
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN LONGER THEN I COULD REMEMBER I REALLY FELT GOOD ENOUGH ABOUT WHO I AM INSIDE THAT I DIDNT A CARE WHO IN THE WORLD ,IF AYONE, LIKED WHAT THEY SAW!! I LIKED HOW I FELT!!

NOW I GOTTA FIND ANOTHER THING WEIGHT HAD ME SCARED OF AND DO IT!!!

Having a bad week..

Between Father's Day and going to the water park, I haven't made the best choices this week when it came to eating! It's time to get back on the wagon and get serious with my weight loss efforts... and remember that we're going out of town this weekend and I must keep my wits about me when it comes to eating.
Here is a picture of me taken yesterday... I really like it, but want to see it getting smaller and smaller.
Time to get refocused!

A difficult decision

Sweet and Sour Teriyaki Pork - Serves 4-6

Sweet and Sour Teriyaki Pork - Serves 4-6



large can pineapple chunks, divided1/4 cup vinegar 2 tbsp soy sauce1 Tbsp Teriyaki sauce or spice 6 large pork chops, trimmed, cut into 1-inch cubes1 large onion, cut in chunks 1 each red & green bell pepper, cut in chunks 2 tablespoons cornstarch hot cooked riceDust pork with a handful of flour, and some VE salt and pepper. Brown porkin VE wok. * Add pineapple juice, vinegar, soy sauce, teriyaki and 1/2 cupwater.* Bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 1 hour, oruntil meat is tender. Add onion, green pepper, red pepper, and pineapplechunks. Simmer 10 more minutes, or until onion and peppers are just tender.Put cornstarch in a cup and stir in 3 tablespoons water. Stir into porkmixture; heat to boiling, reduce heat, and simmer 1 minute. Serve with rice.*CROCK POTFollow standard directions until the *. Put the pork, sauce mixings andonion chunks into your crock pot on low for the day. When you get homestart your pot of rice and remove 1-2 cups of sauce from the crockpot andput into VE Chef Multipot. Combine 2 Tbsp Cornstarch with 3 Tbsp Water.Stir into sauce and heat to boiling. Pour back into crockpot and stir inevenly.

WW Week 3- Keep on Moving...

I'm down 10.4 lbs. in body and hundreds of pounds in spirit and close to my first goal of 15 lbs. down.... which is 5 percent of my original weight. I hope that I can achieve that goal by Aug. 1 and am not going to beat myself up to make it come any sooner.
I've had a lot going on in my personal life, but have tried not to let that affect my weight loss efforts... and that's a big step for someone that eats to make myself feel better or to "choke" my emotions.
On to Week 4... next week I'm going to be weighing in Virginia Beach as we'll be visiting my in-laws for the weekend. I hope the scales there will be kind to me also.

Weigh-in - Week 2 on Weight Watchers

Wow, it's been a stressful week for me that started out with a whirlwind trip to Virginia Beach and Stafford and then ending with the anniversary of my Daddy's death. There has also been some family drama to add into the mix just to keep it interesting.
Plus, I have the infamous uncle visiting for the first time since Julius was born... ah, the joys of pregnancy and what you miss... NOT!
So I was really just hoping to maintain my initial weight loss and not lose any weight so imagine my surprise when I got on the scales and had dropped TWO MORE POUNDS!
WOO HOO! I have now lost 8.6 lbs. since starting WW.
I've been really good about eating this week and didn't run to the kitchen when I got stressed or upset, but I haven't tracked everything like I should.
That will stop as I go back to my tracking and keep myself on track.

Stressful day...

Yesterday was a tough day for me as it was my Daddy's birthday... he died last year and this would have been his 76th special day. Saturday will mark a year since we lost him after a long battle with congestive heart failure.
The day was hard anyway, but I had a disagreement with my younger sister and that made the day even more stressful.
I'm just hoping that stress won't show on the scales Saturday morning.

congrats on the weightloss woman

I am sooo proud of you .

You are doing very well

congrats !!!

No cupcakes for me...

After weighing in on Saturday, we came down to Virginia Beach Saturday night so we could visit with Mom and Dad Fitzgerald and I could take Mom up to Erin's (my niece) baby shower. Baby Koza is due on July 10 so we needed to get some celebrating in before the big arrival.
I spent several days thinking about what I was going to eat at the party... and decided I would either use some of my weekly "extra" points or be good and resist temptation.
Thank goodness Kathy, my sister-in-law, was there as she inspired me to resist tempatation and stay away from the sweets!
I ate veggies and fruit, a few crackers and some dip, but stayed away from the potato and tuna salad, sandwiches and most importantly the cakes and cupcakes.
I'm so glad I was able to take Mom to celebrate Erin's special day (and driving Dad's smooth-riding Mercedes wasn't bad either), but I'm also so thankful to Kathy for being there to inspire me to be good!

Woo hoo... I'm on my way!

I went into Weight Watchers this morning fully confident that I had a good week... I made healthy choices and tracked what I ate.
When I got up on the scales I was down 6.6 lbs!!!!!! Woo hoo! I'm very excited to see that number because I've been really good about my efforts.
So now I'm going to introduce exercise into my plan and get to moving!
Sharon:)

Words of wisdom...

My sister-in-law, Kathy, sent this to me and I thought I would share.

This was written By Regina Brett, a 50-something columnist at The Plain Dealer in Cleveland, Ohio. She was nominated last year for a Pulitizer Prize for her columns and according to SNOPES, this is among her most popular:

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.

Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Day Five on WW...

I was hoping to get through the first week on Weight Watchers without having to use my extra 35 points, but I dipped into them today so I could stay awake! I didn't eat anything terribly bad like chocolate or fried foods, but I propped myself up with turkey, cheese and a few crackers and diet granola bars.
I'm also struggling to get enough water as my natural tendency is to drink diet sodas... which are not as bad as the regular thing, but still not good for you. I've really got to start working on drinking more water.
My first goal is to lose 15 lbs.... and I want to do that staying on the program and being dedicated to it.
I look forward to weighing in on Saturday, but I'm trying to stay off the crazy scales here at the house because they tell me I weigh less than the WW scales do... way less.

I love the pictures!!

So glad you posted the pictures the size is great do not worry!!
So how was the eating today?

When do you get weighed again?

I will be getting weighed in moncton sometime this month I imagine
so i wont know too much until then lol

Although I could get on my home scale I am afraid of lol

Recent pictures of Lori...

I quickly grabbed these from Britt's Facebook page because I know we need some updated pictures of you. I'm not sure why they are so small... Britt needs to send them to me so I can post them directly.
I will have to find a good picture of the two of us and scan it in for this blog.
We're well on our way to better health... and happier lives!

Its a wonderful day on the diet trail.

Well I must admit I am enjoying thsi healthier way of living. I have more energy and am much happier. I got to garden thsi weekend past which I have not been able top do in a few years since I was so large it was hard to get up and down and garden.

I have not weighed in but I a sure I have not gained so I am happy about this.!!

I love the ohotos you added on woman!! we need to start adding more up to date ones so I shall be sendingt you ones
Maybe we need to change the one on the front of the blog to the two of together.

we are doing it thsi time Sharon we really
are
we have our lives in place and are just waiting as we work on our health to get thsi weight off
2012 disneyworld is coming up and we will be able to run after these babies

and to think my baby in 2012 will be 18 years old and ca go to te bars on disney lol

will have to see if she can bring her friend with us
lol

First three days on WW....

I wanted to blog and let you know I've made it through my first three days on Weight Watchers. I decided that this time I was going to be very stringent on writing down everything I eat and making sure I stay within my points.
I guess one of the blessings about being so large is the fact that you start with so many daily points. I'm actually finding it hard to eat all the points and stay within the ideas of what healthy eating is.
For example, I had eight points left at the end of the night Monday and decided against eating a piece of the key lime pie we have in the fridge... which would have been exactly eight points for a slice.
I would rather the eight points not be used than "spend" it on a sweet dessert.
I also wanted to include a few recent pictures of me so you could see what I look like now. These were taken in early May during our week-long celebration of Savannah's second birthday.

Greetings from Virginia... yes, in the States.

My name is Sharon and Lori and I have been friends for more than 10 years. We met in an online chatting room on Richard Simmons Web site and have been friends ever since.
Several months ago Lori asked me to contribute to this blog so here I am to post about my own weight loss journey.
I don't remember how much I weighed when Lori and I met, but I've never gotten down more than 50 lbs. from that original weight... my weight has been any where from 250 to 350 (when I was pregnant with my daughter, Savannah).
I went back to Weight Watchers yesterday and weighed in at 305... which is about eight pounds different (higher) that what my home scales say I weigh.
My plan is to keep this blog updated with my success and failures and to encourage Lori to do the same... as well as any of you who want to join along in the conversation.
I will blog more when I get the chance, but wanted to make my first contribution.
Day 2 on Weight Watchers is going good thus far... here are some pictures of Lori and I back in 2002, I believe. We were at King's Landing enjoying a wonderful holiday feast!

9 days post surgery down 16 lbs whoooooo

It is amazing how this surgery seems to have pumped me up
I rolled into that surgery room a room with no control and came out a woman with a cause !!

i went in at 324 and am now 308.5lbs
its amazing feling hingry now know what ist means to feel hungry and or thirsty

seems so strange o have lost that for all tose years but I feel empoweed.

still sore but wow oh wow

it is fALLING OFF OF ME

LESS OF ME BUT I LOVE ME MORE EACH DAY

3 days post surgery

3 days post surgery and i am down from 324 on thursday march 26 to 316.2 so this is good I am finally on track
no feeling hungry at all


th surgery waa bit worse than they had anticipated but am starting to feel better and i had a geat sleep.

Sharon I hope you and the kids are feleing better soon.

Tell those babies of mne i will be mailing a box today to them in hopes they get i soon ..

love to you all

lori
8 lbs lighter lol lol lol lol lol

my goal is to break 300 by april 7

got the surgery done

all went well i the end .. I ended up only going on friday as i had meetings until 8.30pm
mr b drove me down for my new surgery time from 845 to 12 45 only ws released t 530 but i ma doing fairly wel to be trthfull

i was 324 on surgery date anxous t see the weight on friday a week later

hope everyone is ok
sorry never got to your place rosie but work had to come first OH he not only repositioned the port but he also filled it with cc so this is only 1 cc less than the usual first fill but eh it is a start


lori

march 20 1 week till update surgey

well i got the new date
plans to go down on bus thursdya and back on bus friday are all set and i am staying at rosannas. so its all good to go !!

New surgery date March 27 845 am

well i feel better thaks to my friend s
i got a new dte march 27 845am
so i will be on the go from here on
love ayh sharon
my other half!!

couldnt have done it without you

plus thsoe precious babie3 s
i made a promise to me to get healthy for 2012 fior disney
with the kids and i meant it

!!!!!!!

I have to have lapband surgery again

The band healed to my muscle ad it has since flippe d so i now have t have the port removed and reput in with messing all cause of that damn cancer i ahd
i am sooo upset
I give up on this weightloss crapp
i do not care anymore

this is the last of my blog commenst

thansk for watching it
bye lori

last sleep till my FIRST FILL

wow last night before my fi;
just got on the scale and i am 327.8 so i ma fatter now that i was on surgery date

but no excuse e but i have now been given fluid pills caus e its out of control gin
i ma happy i finally got the pill since my socks have a dent in them for about 1 inch sort of tougth it was time è

2 more sleeps till fill day

well only 2 more sleeps until fit day
having a reallly bad day so far though
already had big argument with 14yr old daughter
seems lying is becoming a way of life

tired of it and decided no more phone
no more computer
only school work
and tv when i say so

ready to give her away
lol

5 more sleeps until Moncton

5 more sleeps until my sleep.

i have joined an aweosme weigntloss place it is for non and banded peopel
its

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/usercp.php

anyone who has the inclination to want another form of support go for it

lori

8 more sleeps till my fillA!!

I am freaking ladies
\
\only 8 more sleeps before my moncton
fill and i now have found out since last monday
I have viral pneumonia

lovely
lol
only me
lol

some info I ran across

Dear Lori,

Just in case you missed the earlier email, I want to let you know that there are two Emotional Eating Toolbox™ Six Week Tele-Groups beginning next week. Designed to be a companion to the Emotional Eating Toolbox™ 28 Day Program, these small groups have received great reviews. (You can go here to read them: http://enduringchange.com/reviews/). These groups have been newly expanded (I've added on two additional weeks) and now contain new upgraded activities and exercises. There are still spots remaining in the traditional Six Week Emotional Eating Toolbox Program™ as well as in the specialized Emotional Eating Toolbox™ group for individuals who have had weight loss surgery.Both groups begin 3/17/09. Groups will be held on six consecutive Tuesdays. Specific times and dates can be found at http://enduringchange.com/coaching-groups/. Registration fees for the group include a copy of the Emotional Eating Toolbox™ 28 Day program ($139 value). You can find all the information and learn how to register here: http://enduringchange.com/coaching-groups/.Groups are limited in size to six members to ensure plenty of time for individualized coaching, feedback, and discussion. Again, if you would like to read what participants have thought about the groups or the Emotional Eating Toolbox™ program, you can do that here: http://enduringchange.com/reviews/
If you have any questions about the groups, feel free to email me and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

The link with all the information is here: http://enduringchange.com/coaching-groups/ Take good care,
Melissa

Melissa McCreery, PhD, ACC
http://www.enduringchange.com

10 more sleeps till fill day

wow oh wow
i am sooo excited i am going for my fill in 10 more sleeps
I will be drinking more andmore water i am being good i am excited oh yeah i am kicking butt
lol

Daily Goals

Well day one went by and I drank all my water which means I attained my daily goal!!

wipee!!!!

A little humor folks!!

First, you had trouble getting out of bed...
You had a stiff neck...
You washed your hair and couldn't do a thing with it...

You felt like you had a hangover and you weren't even drinking last night...
Your new diet really doesn't seem to be working out...

You pulled a muscle when you tried to exercise...
Your new hat looked better on you at the store...
You keep losing things...
The boss chewed you out at work...
You got caught in the rain at lunchtime...
Then the lunch you had didn't seem to agree with you...
You feel trapped...
Uninvited guests showed up at dinner time...
On top of that you think you're coming down with the flu...
And finally, you're alone in the house at night when you think you hear a noise in the basement...
MAYBE TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER!!! Thought for the day... Handle every stressful situation like a DOG! If you can't eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away!!!

Setting Goals

Ok everyone I am setting goals

Attainable goals that is!!
For the first time in my life I am setting goals for me
not ones for my family or my job
but for ME!!

It is scary but at the same time it feels good!!
I am setting a weekly goal and a monthly goal

weekly goal is to drink 8 x 8ox glasses of water from March 5 to march 12

Monthly goal is from march 5 to April 5 is to lose 10lbs

keep me honest folks keep me honest lol


I can do it !!!

One step one day one breath at a time

weighed in at 321.8

so its down from 324.5
its slow but i also have not been doing iot 100 %
just realized I have not been drinking my water so My goal is to se for 8 8oz glasses daily

i am hoping to get a weekly weigh in going

what do you think??
since i now fit back on a scale
whoo we are awesome



thanks

Disappointment to Happy in zero to fifty seconds

i was due to have my first fill March 2
i ended not having it as I was sick.

I was told i would only be in again in april

Thank you God I have a new date
march 18

I will let yah know as son as i get it how it feels

Thanks for the kick in in the butt sharon

love yah gil !!

Snowly Windy MOnday February 23 2009

Well I just got uo and I thougth i would let yah know the food plan for this am.

I am off to drink LOVELY COLD CHOCOLATE MILK SHAKE WITH 900 CALORIES AND HIGH DOZE OF PROTEIN .

WE got about 30cm of snow over night so as you can imagine my exercise will be basically shoveling,

Oh but I still love Canada we have an awesome country

Lori

February 22 2009 GOT MY FILL DATE

I am sooo excited i finally get my first fill March 2 almost three months after my surgery date imagine... any hoot I got it.

Rosanna and Diane got the fist fill this past wednesday an she says she can finally feel what full is.

I am so excited.
Also found an awesome new friend off lapband.com last night.

Thans for your tips Julie .

Julie was banded December 9th 2008 and is on her 3rd fill i think she says .


I will be posting my food journal i hope faithfully each day from now o
oh and pictures folks I think i finally figured out the technology

also check me out on facebook with the user name of lorisellsregal.



love ayh
life is lookig better now
thanks Rosanna
raviniuos raviniuos rinos

February 4 2009

Stil no fill.
I am really pissed now. I hear it will be as laet as March 9th,

If I had known this I never would have agreed to an early surgery I would have waited. This is frustrating and I am not happy .

I am eating like before out of control. for the most part though within reason but I HATE THIS WAITING

january 22 2009

Well folks I finally got a call back from the Moncton Hospital Dietician Rinette.
She apologised for the wait. She advised me I need to be back on the 900 calorie a day diet maybe slimfast and a once a day 100 calorie diet until the first fill which will be in late February as they are behind.

She also advised me that because they are behind they have decided to train the nurse to be able to do the fills. When thsi will all start we have no idea!!

Today is going well right???? january 12 2009

As I sit by my computer I bend towards the desk and I ask myself
Is that the lapband I feel when I bend? Can others see this lapband?
Will people know I had this surgery?
I am also wondering since Moncton is so behind in the
fill process (about 8 weeks behind) will this frustrate me even more
and set me back?
As I ask myself these questions I find I am mad yes Mad.
Why would they make us go through such stiff pre op crap
and then just leave us hanging when we need them most?

I have left a message with the nutritionist Rinette but I have not got a call back yet
Must be busy. I am getting increasingly more and more frustrated and I
do not see any weight coming off. Others do but I still feel bloated and fat.
Suddenly a light pop's on

That is an issue , yes this is my issue ..

Am I such a control freak that if something does not go on its
sceduled time I deal with my frustration and disappointment by eating
instead of saying to myself:
it hurt no one
will not change or alter drastically my life
so do not spend another minute worrying about it,

I guess I am learning folks. Learning that at 39 I still have a lot to learn about life and mostly about me.

Thanks for reading my mind

Lori

Lap Band Photo

January 11 2009 I Am Back

It was December 5th 2009, Finally the lap bang surgery that was going to cure everything had arrived.

We drove down to Moncton NB Thursday night checked into the Ramada Crystal Palace Hotel.. I was so excited but yet something in me kept me calm , too calm.

I was terrifed that is what it was I was terrified of the very thing I just new was going to cure me and back everything all better. No more sore knees and legs. The feet would somehow just start to fl much better. Wow Was I into a rude awakening!

Surgery Monrning:

I let Trish and Britt sleep in at the hotel and I took a cab over to the hospital. I needed to do this on my own. They would come over around 12.00pm when hey woke ate and I would be out of surgery and awake.. That part of the plan went well.

Once well enough to go home Trish drove us home. I was so glad to be back in my own bed. The world at my finger tips, or so I thought.

That night Edwin got home same time as we did. perfect , he went to Pharmacy to get pain pills for me. I would need then surely that night. Oh was that right I sure did need them.

Things went from good to bad fast. I thougth I was going to barf when I saw the 5 incisions on my whole belly. I was not anticipating them being so large red or full of staples. 15 staples to be exact. Painful ones . I looked like Frankenstein on a good day..

Saturday morning came I mean 2am in the morning. I was in sooo much pain it was awful. I flt with every move that if I did not carry my belly like literaly hold my belly fat each time I moved I thought it was being pulled right off of me . Tearing me as if someone was stabing my belly and side with each movement. The pain meds came in real handy then. The only problem with the meds was that they made me totally loopy. So loppy I swear I ws speakin with te grinch and that spider monkeys were in my bedroom blinds. Nothing duct tape was not able to take care of. Man the guy who created that tape had no idea of all the uses for it.LOL


Sunday I was still sore but semed a bit better. I was at this time wondering why I had this surgery. I tried to tell myself it was all worth it cause it was going to fix all the problems right .. right.. that was suppose to make me lose weight and help all the rest of the problems like why I ate in the firts place right? ? ??


NO THAT IS NOT RIGHT AND WOW WHAT AN EYE OPENING EXPERIENCE TO LEARN I WAS THE PROBLEM . THAT I WAS OUT OF CONTROL. I WAS THE ONE WHO MADE ME SO OBESE.SO OUT OF CONTROL. EVEN SCARIER I THINK WAS AND STILL ALTHOUGH NOT AS MUCH I HAD TO LEARN TO LIKE ME AGAIN NOT THAT PERSON PEOPLE TOLD ME I WAS .

I was and always have been a nice person, hopefully considrate of others and most of all worth every ounze of time and energy I give myself. This concept was foreig to me. Once I became a mom it was all about my daughter. She had to me #1 that is all I rememeber hearing from people. That your life changed. What I realize now if It changes alright but I was still the important person in my own life and i was important too. I lost myself along the weigh. I starte to give myself time for me by putting food in my mouth. It made me feel complete when I was not feeling complete or self assured. I wold have killed to be told I was a good mom or a good wife by him but I never heard that so I started to turn to food for that intimate feeling we had lost.
Hence the name of my blog.. I am Back . After having realized this I am back!! I take that time for me and I am doing lap band lifetime acievement time for me.. Keep me honest folks . I need and want yes want a lot of feed back!!! Pictures daily recipe and cries for help. Let us make our taking back the bite of our lives worth every bite!!! cheese cake cannot be the only thing that tastes great!! Our lives and us are worth it!!!